I’m going to take a brief break from your food phobias today to tell you about my newest one. It lives in the freezer. It controls my mind, and at times, my spoon. And at the rate we’re going, it will be the very end of me. Or my waistline. Or my husband, as he leaves me for the Paris-dweller who envisioned this masterpiece.
It goes by the innocent-sounding name chocolate sorbet but even typing those words was enough to send my resistance into a tailspin and I had to go into the freezer to get another taste, cursing Lebovitz the whole way there and whispering sweet nothings into my spoon on the way back.
I suppose you could say I’m having a Chocolate
Weak Week, except it started last week when I was getting a pedicure and they had these tiny chocolate brownie nuggets out and I wasn’t even hungry but the entire 45 minutes of buffing and rebirthing my feet into the kind The Other Half walk on I was thinking “There’s a tiny bite of chocolate brownie in the corner. There’s a tiny bite of chocolate brownie in the corner…” ad infinitum. (When I finally swooped down on my prey an hour later, it didn’t even disappoint.)
I was determined to make brownies when I got home but a) aargh, bathing suit season and b) I scraped together the few tablespoons of chocolate chips, four squares of a Ghiradelli bar and 2 ounce lump of Callebaut leftover from the wedding cake’s brandied ganache filling–the whole of our chocolate supply in the pantry–and found myself with only six ounces of chocolate.
And then I remembered the chocolate sorbet recipe in The Perfect Scoop.
And how I’d bookmarked it after rejecting one from Pure Dessert (recipe: one-plus pounds of chocolate + two-plus cups of water: melt, churn, freeze) that had me thinking if I was going to eat one pound of chocolate, it wasn’t going to be like that. But six ounces? That’s practically moderation.
And by some miracle, I had exactly 3/4 cup of Galler cocoa left (thanks, in-laws for the gift!).
And it made the kitchen smell like some madly intense hot cocoa, giving me a little Seasonal Confusion Disorder.
And then I dipped my spoon in the unfrozen mixture and practically blacked out with joy.
This stuff is better than brownies. It’s awesomer than the fudgiest chocolate ice cream. It makes chocolate truffles taste like they’re not trying hard enough. It could send that brandied ganache home with its tail between its legs.
It’s not much longer for the smitten kitchen.
Adapted from The Perfect Scoop
This is not a sorbet for chocolate moderates. It’s for people who like chocolate to be all they can taste when they bite into something. And for the love of all that is bathing suit season, someone with better moderation than me, because I suspect it is no longer “light” if you eat it all.
Servings: Makes 1 quart (1 liter) but you can tell your husband less so he doesn’t figure out how much you’ve kept from him. (At least until he sees the chocolate smudges on your face.)
2 1/4 cups (555 ml) water
1 cup (200 g) sugar
3/4 cup (75 g) unsweetened Dutch-process cocoa powder
Pinch of salt
6 ounces (170 g) bittersweet or semisweet chocolate, finely chopped
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
In a large saucepan (yes, you must use a large one or it will bubble over. Trust me.), whisk together 1 1/2 cups (375 ml) of the water with the sugar, cocoa powder, and salt. Bring to a boil, whisking frequently. Let it boil, continuing to whisk, for 45 seconds.
Remove from the heat and stir in the chocolate until it’s melted, then stir in the vanilla extract and the remaining 3/4 cup (180 ml) water. Transfer the mixture to a blender and blend for 15 seconds. Chill the mixture thoroughly, then freeze it in your ice cream maker according to the manufacturer’s instructions. If the mixture has become too thick to pour into your machine, whisk it vigorously to thin it out.