the opposite of suffering

To stop this pity party in it’s tracks, let me tell you what I have actually done this weekend, because I got to say that aside from the obvious unpleasantries — a smattering of bruises on my every appendage, the inability to put my hair in a ponytail or even put socks on without help, embarrassment of having my husband cut up my food for me in a restaurant and no wine (!) because it mixes disastrously with Advil in me — it’s been pretty sweet.

murray's everything bagel

Saturday started with one of the great one-hand-able foods of New York: the Murray’s whole wheat everything bagel. Murray’s is one of but six places left in the city that still make bagels the old-school way: by hand, with malt and always boiled. Just don’t ask them to toast them, because they’re almost always right out of the oven. I’ve got a near-constant hankering for their low-fat scallion cream cheese, but I’ve, you know, heard from other people that their strawberry cream cheese? Tastes like danish and is mildly addictive.


Next up was the undaunted Sarah Brown’s Cringe TV pilot shooting. I know this probably wasn’t the best time to do something crowded and public as there is just no way to casually tell people that you are wearing a sling because you fell down the stairs last night – “Oops!” – but it was so nice to be out. We laughed for hours (“We all lie, Deb.”), and did I mention we hung out with a fish, a dooce and a girl who says she pretty much hates everything but I don’t believe her? And that they all pretended to know who I was? I’m a sucker for flattery.

chocolate samples

And today, we hit the annual Chocolate Show which was so good it almost made up for being aggravatingly crowded with people who do not consider slinged shoulders things worth avoiding bumping into. I have now consumed about a half-ounce of quality chocolate for almost every bruise on my body, and as soon as I can match that in bourbon, I have no doubt the world will finish righting itself.

chocolate samples

chocolate samples

Tonight, Alex makes dinner – it’s an old, odd favorite that I hope will become one of yours, too. I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow, by which time, I hope to be up to 22 words per minute.

chocolate samples

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15 comments on the opposite of suffering

  1. Jenifer from Memphis

    YOU MET DOOCE! OMG! I think I’ve died and gone to heaven by the way of association! (I want to be you Deb, sling and all – though I am sorry you fell.)

  2. Sorry to hear about your injury – hope it heals up quick. Don’t feel too bad – I broke my foot in September by dropping a log on it while getting firewood. Glad you got to enjoy your weekend. :) I made the tomato soup and stuffed peppers today – both were yummy, although the boyfriend is not a fan of chick peas.

  3. tammy

    alex cooked! yay! let me just tell you… i took my turn with the stairs this morning. taking my laundry down the stairs my right leg went out and the laundry went into the air and i hit every step on the way down… something in my head said “don’t lean your head back and don’t put out your hands” figuring i would crack my skull on our ceramic tile or try and stop my fall with my hands and break a wrist. instead i am gimping around with HUGE bruises all over my left thigh (one where i hit and then one where i bounce) my knee, my chin, and my ankle. not nearly as bad as your fall with the injuries but i thought i’d let you know your not the only clutz for the weekend… hehehe… hope you are feeling better… nice to hear that advil and a glass of wine could make you one cheap date… hehehe… until tomorrow…

  4. shelley

    Respect, Deb! You’re handling this NaBloPoMo gig (among other things) in grand style. From a reader who loves her daily fix of Smitten Kitchen, thanks.

  5. I think perhaps you are undermedicated. I believe the correct dosage is one ounce of chocolate per bruise, not half an ounce. Hopefully it was high quality cocoa in perfect percentages, that tends to increase potency.

    So glad you are alright. You still write the best food porn around.


  6. How is it that even with one arm in a sling, you still manage to have more fun than I do with all my parts ‘working’. I’ve simply got to move to a city where stuff happens after 6pm!

  7. Yvo

    Ouch, rest up! That’s unfortunate about the fall and broken clavicle. How bad is it that I immediately thought “I hope her cameras are okay”- well I had to scroll back for that story so I saw the sling already and figured you were doing alright, afterall you’re posting about it.

    PS I had a hairline fracture on my elbow a few years ago and my doctor said that it was unnecessary to use the sling they’d given me in the ER, but I put it on everytime I was outside, on the subway, wherever because people are so darn inconsiderate! They’d jar me and I’d make this horrible face adn they’d just barely mumble an apology, if I was lucky! Ugh!!!

  8. deb

    Jenifer – Do you want to see the most hurl-worthy 4-inch wide bruise on my right hip? I mean, my own husband can’t look at it without sort of staring in horror. But I’ll totally show it to you, just so you can be sure you don’t want to be me right now. ;)

    Lisa – The chocolate was delish. You know, a few years ago I was at the show and this woman walked around with a ZIP-LOC BAG and she slipped all of the samples that the rest of us were slipping in our mouths into the bag, saying she’d rather pace herself eating them. I thought she was an alien. I wish we had some left right now.

    Traci – I am so glad I’m not the only one who has been the sole cause of every injury she has ever had. Though this one really takes the cake. I’m glad you tried and liked the dishes. I’m sure the chickpeas could be replaced with white beans or really, just another chunky vegetable.

    Tammy – Actually, Fresh Direct was really late and we gave up on cooking (the Giants game was on, afterall, and I’m in no position to mock someone’s prioritizing of football), instead ordering Indian. But he cooked tonight – YUM.

    Tanna – Thank you.

    Marisa – Okay, technically I already know Fish but Dooce was lovely to meet, indeed.

    Shelley – I’m trying! But it takes even longer. Fortunately, working from home I get a little stir-crazy so I’ll probably be keeping it up. For now.

    Luisa – Thank you. Not bad at all, afterall.

    Dodi – Aw, I’ll see if I can have that fixed. I tried mostly bitter samples, though there were some impressive displays of milk chocolate, I have to admit. I was impressed!

    Married Girl – I can assure you, not all weekends are so exciting. I just… couldn’t stand the thought of sitting home, knowing I had a whole week of that coming up.

    Yvo – Heh, that was my second thought, too. I mean, when I do EVER leave the apartment with almost all of our camera stuff. Not even on vacation do we bring a tripod. Talk about my luck. As for the sling, I hear you. People are surprisingly unnoticing of it. I mean, again, I don’t need a pity party but why would anyone not hold the door as I am struggling to hold my coffee, wallet and open the door with one hand like this morning? It’s better I don’t think too much about these things.

    Samphire – Heh. I think I can be good about this for two weeks. I can’t make any promises after that; I’m not THAT good-natured afterall. Er, unless baited with chocolate.